What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
