There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
