And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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