you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
