DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
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I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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