i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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