People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
