??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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