thus making me awesome and them whores
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
