I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
