erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
