3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My cat gives me a boner
where does the pee come out of this thing
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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