you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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