yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
