I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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