I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
