Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
