There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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