you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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