I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
whose parrot is this?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
