New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
