Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
