I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
