I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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