a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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