P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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