When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
