i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
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i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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