well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Green mimosas i think yes
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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