god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
thus making me awesome and them whores
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize