hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize