Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
