Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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