but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize