we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
