That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
4 words: hood of his car
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize