he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
