Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
