Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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