If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
