i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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