there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
