She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
