after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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