sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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