Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
