I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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