you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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