Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
