you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
