Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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