College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think your dad took our porno
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
