margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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