I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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