Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
