Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
