we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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