I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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