okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
