why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
