I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
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I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
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My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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