If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
