There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
