Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
