Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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