I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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