I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize