just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
